Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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