I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
