would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
