i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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