i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
