I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
