Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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