It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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