$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
