yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
