wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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