worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
