I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize