you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize