We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
