NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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