I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
