Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
