talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
false alarm, still single
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