chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
