stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
