Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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