THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
