I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
