if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize