Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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