sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
