i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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