Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
