my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize