The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
