You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
