Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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