so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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