By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just invented taco cereal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
