how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize