do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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