The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
