we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
