So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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