Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
