btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize