am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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