hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
