Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
