It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
