Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
third nipple confirmed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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