We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize