...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think people are normalizing furries
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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