god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
