Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
