My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there was a trapeze. enough said
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
