Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
