By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
