You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
