yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
