We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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