"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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