I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
