If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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