Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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