That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
