you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
